A Different Octave

Hey everyone...

Yeah, it's me again. It's been quite a while since my last update, and I know I've repeated that line probably a million times already. Once upon a time, I used to update frequently with posts ranging from how to lose weight to weird stickers pasted around in campus! Then, all of a sudden, I suddenly stopped updating for quite a while and (at least to me) faded into obscurity. What exactly happened? Well, for quite a while, I thought I lost it. I thought I lost my ability to write. A writer's block, as some of you may call it. That, plus a sudden lack of motivation and inspiration to write and dangerously enough, study (despite doing well in my mid-terms). To put it simply, I was caught in a bog of apathy.

It was a tough situation to contend with. I was feeling this strong feeling of apathy and lack of inspiration despite being really happy with other things in my life at the same time. How weird is that? I looked back at the situation and reassessed things. Later, I realized the mistakes I did.

First of all, I forgot to appreciate the little things that matter. It's a bit sad that I am kind of... uninspired by what I'm learning, and ironically the subjects I'm really into are not even Major courses! But, talking with those close to me and checking out how others are going through the situation made me rethink: Everyone's going through some sort of difficulty in one way or another. Some people might have problems due to lack of proficiency in the medium of language used, while some are best suited for different kind of subjects. What matters the most is how you face it, and keeping a positive attitude, as well as having constant support also helps a lot too!

The next point, which is the one that got me thinking for a really long time and which is something that I want to share with everyone, but just don't know how, is that you should never, ever lie to yourself. I have done a lot of mistakes in my life, and I've mistakes that many do not know of. I'm obviously not perfect! But the worst thing I did was not only did I lie to myself about something, I kept it away and made people believe in it, perhaps as a way to convince myself at the time.

Now just what the heck am I crapping about right now?

On the bright side, it's NEVER too late to turn back and rectify matters. That's just what I'm doing with things right now. No matter how crap things can be, there is ALWAYS a solution. Sure, life is hard, and we do make mistakes, but it's what we learn from the mistakes, and what we do after the mistake that makes us better. I was doing some random reading earlier and found and interesting saying (which unfortunately, I forgot the source!). It goes something like "I'm happier to make more mistakes, because the more mistakes I make, the more oppurtunities to learn I get".

So there really isn't any reason to indulge in sadness and the like! All that matters is that you just have to be positive, and think out of the box, and hey, things suddenly look better already! But of course, you're going to have to put in the discipline and effort for it or otherwise, it's just an unreachable image of happiness that you're staring at.

By the way, I am grateful for you always being there and for the constant support all along. I know I can be horrible at times and a bit slow, too, but you've made me change so much and you make me want to change even more, not just for myself, but for the really bright future. For that, I thank you, though I truly do not know of how to repay you. Words and actions are not enough to repay the big favor that you have done for me. For all you have done, I thank you :)

- naz